Broken.

Well, as you can see here, I really did manage to break the blog. In true gonzo blogging style I started to screw with the template only to find that there had been some upgrade or another to the platform and would I kindly download or convert or whatever and copies would be saved and life would become simpler, and I thought, "Shiny!" and proceeded. I was never prompted to do the promised saving, and before I knew it, the old template was gone into the ether. Next time I go all Bruce Campbell with the keyboard, somebody stop me. So now I'm all "Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!" at Blogger, and I'm cutting and pasting from old saved (HA!) files and every freakin time I try to preview, it is giving me errors.

So now we're all plain. And chainsaws aren't helping. Poo.

In other broken news, my camera is spontaneously unbreaking and rebreaking in a completely random and puzzling way, but I am not getting the camera replaced anytime soon due to the impending date with my dentist who going to give me more gold than most rappers display. The reason? As gentle readers of this blog know, my job is a teensy bit stressful from time to time, and apparently I am grinding my teeth a bit. And maybe shattering them. A little. Ah, well, it goes with the whole broken theme, eh? Good thing I handle stress well.

Which leads me to offer kudos to Fleegle, who opened up a can of whoop-ass on her broken shawl and totally owned it. I admire that blend of talent, creativity and courage and I really look up to her and the other experienced knitters out there who lead by such magnificent example when times get tough and patterns get stubborn. Go look at her amazing shawl.

So I got the camera working for another minute and snapped a picture of my last broken thing. Then when I went to upload it, Blogger tells me its.........BROKEN! Ha! This calls for a contest. Guess what the picture was going to be of, and win a skein of the new Raven Series STR! Yes, that's right, you'll have to wait until November for your prize if you win, but I couldn't think of anything more appropriate considering how similar the colors are between the yarn and the broken thing. So, who's up for it? Email your guesses to me at chickengoddessatmindspringdotcom (you know how that works) before midnight EDT on Friday, October 19, 2007 and the cats can pick the winner from the correct guesses. And then we all wait till November. Oh, well, my contest is a little broken, too.

10-16-07 Edited to add:
Template fixed!

Look Into My Eyes; You are Feeling Very Sleepy

Very soon, the only voice you will hear is mine. You will be very relaxed and feel happy. Nothing can hurt you, you are safe. Just follow my voice. Very good.

Now you will be open to everything I have to say about bees. There will be no memories of childhood trauma or confusion with wasps to cloud you from the growing feeling of affection you are already starting to feel for bees. There is no fear. Only the sound of my voice. You are safe, calm and relaxed. Good.

Bees are wonderful, they are industrious, they make honey and beeswax, pollinate flowers, trees and shrubs and provide many other hive products that science is still discovering uses for. They are a very rewarding hobby and can induce a calm state of relaxed focus for those who work with them. And they are equally necessary for the health of the agricultural industry and the health of your backyard.

Now the impact of a hobby beekeeper on the ag industry is nearly nil, but as years have gone by and disease, pest problems, predators and chemical contamination have nearly decimated the wild honeybee population, the home beekeeper makes a positive contribution to the smaller ecosystem and gets lots in return. So lets talk a little about a hive, since you are beginning to feel like you really want one and want to know all about it. That's right. Happy friendly bee house. Yes, you are doing very well.

"Hive" is a word that can stand for 2 things, either the mass of the bees themselves, or the system of boxes they are kept in. Lets talk about the boxes. First, you find that beekeeping can be a woodworking project as assembly is required (unless you pay a much higher price) for almost all the hive parts. But that's ok, because with basic skills and hand tools, you soon are feeling really satisfied with yourself for building beautiful boxes and frames. You are now feeling like an artist, and decide to paint the outside of your hive boxes with pretty light colors (especially if you live in the south) and maybe some designs so your friends, the bees, will have a pretty home. You find a good place to set up your hive where your friends will have a little protection from extremes of weather and where you will be able to have access to all sides of the house when you visit your bee friends. Friendly bees. Good, good.

But where are our friends, you ask? You can get bees from several different sources, and sometimes they will mail you a 2 or 3 pound box of bees. Poor mailman! He will not understand as you do that bees are good, that the sound they are making is a good sound, a happy sound. He doesn't understand, as you do, that the bees like to crawl on the screen sides of the box, so it only looks like the box is crammed full of bees. He will not understand why you want a box of bees, but you should be nice to the mailman, because he doesn't know how to be happy like you do. Calm and happy. Then you put them in their house and they fly and visit flowers and make honey and wax and you are very, very happy with your bees. You are doing very well.

Now that we all love bees and want some, it is time to start building their house and reading bee books and looking for other bee-friendly people who live nearby and to start gathering equipment. Because not only are bees good and friendly, they are smart and can protect themselves quite well on their own. This thought does not scare you, and you are feeling good. Now because you are smart and understand this, you will always wear your protective equipment to be sure there are no unfortunate mistakes on behalf of your friends. Just as you should not run or jump down a set of stairs because you might get hurt, you should not approach your friends without protection. Even if you see other people do this and allow the bees to sting them, you will show your bees more respect and dress for the occasion. Poor bees die when they sting , and you don't want your friends to meet that end! So you will feel confident if you know you are protecting them by learning to visit them safely. You are doing so very well. And you are feeling really good about bees. You have no fear, you want to learn more. When I count to three I want you to wake. You will feel refreshed and calm, and you will want to learn more about bees and beekeeping. You have done very well.

1, 2, 3!

http://www.amazon.com/First-Lessons-Beekeeping-Keith-Delaplane/dp/0915698129/ref=sr_1_2/103-5814755-4535056?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1191764418&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.com/Langstroths-Hive-Honey-Bee-Classic-Beekeepers/dp/0486433846/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-5814755-4535056?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1191764239&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/ABC-Xyz-Bee-Culture-Encyclopedia/dp/0936028017

http://www.dadant.com/

http://www.brushymountainbeefarm.com/

http://www.gobeekeeping.com/

My Own Personal Oktoberfest of Knitting. And Beer.

Hi! My job is trying to kill me!
Thank you.

In other news, my camera is dead, dead, dead, so Janes' contest didn't happen for me and my Ravelry notebook is fast filling up with blank projects, but that's ok because I have no time to knit and blog, because my job is trying to kill me!
Ahem.

It must be time to screw with my template. Yeah, that's it! So I expect that at times you'll see things appearing and disappearing from the sidebar, and possibly crash my whole blog. Because it is October and beer will be involved.

On the photo free knitting front, I have started and gotten about halfway through the dead easy but really pretty Hemlock Ring Blanket from brooklyntweed that I started in the car last weekend, and this weekend is slated for finishing my MS3, which got stuck somewhere around Clue 6 and never regained momentum. I have socks half done at every turn which are going to get finished and have mates before October is through. I have a clapotis to frog, too, the last tiny bit of the Dark Mark scarf to finish and pieces and parts of other projects which are cutting loose and starting to drift around the house. So October is about finishing. Hmm, maybe November will be like a festival of casting on. Who knows.

Meanwhile, I have been on my fall color yarn buying binge which is beginning to lose steam as more and more of my favorite indie dyers update yet fail to wow me in their usual way. I even see people introducing what I would really consider to be spring colorways! Now! October! Isn't there something in Emily Post about no easter colored yarns after Labor Day? There should be a law, man.

I have also been on a German lace pattern procurement binge. I know this is the first time many of you are hearing about this, but it has been going on for a while now, and I have amassed a fair few books full of designs by a guy named Herbert Niebling. It's like crack, or maybe worse. After MS3 confirmed what I had so hoped Kiri proved, that I really can knit lace, I got a little crazy. And all this Oktoberfest of finishing stuff? It is so I can concentrate on my major projects with all my attention. Rosarie, the Starmore design, Rosendal, a Dale, and Lyra, a Niebling that I want to do before I try to tackle Steinrose. One small problem, I could only get the pattern in German, and the only other language I know beside English is Japanese. Claudia to the rescue!

Every day in the month of October, she is posting a German knitting term and its translation. How cool is that? What better timing could there be? It's like having my own little personal Oktoberfest of knitting!

So if anyone has any camera recommendations, please let me know. One more day of work to get through this week, then beer, yarn, and Sunday at Knitch. What more could I want?

I really need to step away from this computer and knit.

Am-I-Dumb.com - Are you dumb?

Guys, I did not really send Jen chickens. But it's a nice thought...

So I just get home from a HELLUVA day at work, and I sit down innocently at my computer for a little blog perusal and relaxation, only to find that Jen has received chickens from on high. I thought to myself, now there's something you don't see every day, spontaneous chickens. This can't be a bad thing! So, having a reputation to uphold, I immediately set about taking credit for the happy event, which then got me thinking; wouldn't the world be a better place if I really could have some godlike power to send chickens to my friends?



Don't all run screaming from the room now, you won't all be finding chickens in your backyards, (or, if you do, it will have had nothing to do with me. Really.) There won't be magical boxes from Murray Mc Murray appearing in your mail making soft clucking noises. Not from me, at least.



But let me take this opportunity to tell you how cool chickens are. First, let me clarify, I'm talking about hens. Not roosters, which you can do quite well without, thankyouverymuch. Hens can be very sweet and will lay eggs just fine without ever coming into contact with a rooster. They don't make much noise, will interact with you if you interact with them enough to be familiar to them, and can be kept in a number of ways. If you live in the country and can let them loose, great, although you may have to hunt for eggs if you don't put them up at night and give them somewhere to lay, like a nest box. If you are an urban type, like myself, with a limited amount of land, you can build or buy a small coop and house, or you can go really compact with a chicken tractor. This is a cool little setup which protects your chickens from predators (there are lots of them about, even in the city) and can be moved around your yard to provide your girls with fresh grass. They range from the do it yourself on the cheap to the elaborate. Googleing chicken tractor will provide you with a good idea of the building plans available, or you can visit Omlet and ogle the prefab wonder that is the Eglu. I have an Eglu, and for me it has been well worth the investment. The dang thing is not only foxproof, it is packs-of-wild-dogs-proof as well, to which I can personally attest. There's nothing better than starting the morning with a fresh from the chickens' bum breakfast. Believe me, if you have never owned a hen, you have never known a truly fresh egg.



Here's a pic of my setup.




With Johannes and James of Omlet!! This summer we got a visit from the designers of the Eglu when they visited America. They surveyed first hand the damage the dog pack attacks did to my Eglu, and were amazed at how well it held up. Lest I sound too much like an advertisement for their product (which I really do think the world of) I'll get back to general chicken ownership information.

Chickens fly. So you (or someone you trust) has to clip a few wing feathers to keep them put. If you live in the country and you don't clip their wings, your chickens may roost up in the trees - they can fly that well. Wing clipping can be dangerous to the birds, so make sure you know what you're doing before you try it. Again with the googleing, or with advice from a vet who specialized in birds or even from the helpful folks at your local feed and seed, who probably sell chickens too (I bet you didn't even know you had one that close to you!) and can help outfit you with all the basics.

So, clean water, good food (chickens happily eat clean fruit and veggie scraps, too) clean straw, fresh grass, clean chicken, happy chicken owner. Fresh eggs nearly every day. Sometimes two a day. And chickens are funny. LOL funny, OMG funny, and sometimes WTF funny.

Chicken poop stinks, yes. They tear up the grass, yes. Grass grows back, the poop gives good stuff back to the soil. You get fresh eggs, and if you raise them sweet, you get sweet chicken pets. When they age and laying slacks off, you can retire them to the pet only status, or to the pot. Just depends on how up close and personal you want to get to that whole circle of life thing.

So, while I can't wish all my friends magical lucky chickens like Jen got, maybe I can make you want them. I think they're cool. They are certainly easy to keep, and they give you lots in return.

Next issue: Beekeeping!
(you only think I'm joking)

Breaking News

In no time at all, the lady previously referred to as "sadly blogless" has remedied her pitiable situation. Go check her out and tell her hi!

http://zombiedrag.com/

More coming soon. First, I must knit.

Mouse and Chicken Go To Town

How does one sum up a day like yesterday? I have no idea where to start, so I guess I'll start at the beginning. I met Knotty Mouse at the Yarn Garden, one of the few shops in the area I had never previously pillaged (somehow it had totally escaped my notice) in the early afternoon and whisked her away for a no holds barred, Thelma and Louise style day of knitterly hijinks and that special sort of mass hysteria only the arrival of the Yarn Harlot could perpetrate on Atlanta. After briefly looting a sari shop, we stopped at Taj Mahal for British Cadburys, made a quick hit and run on Needle Nook and wound our way down to the heart of town to meet up with several hundred of our closest friends.

Mouse taught Chicken that fresh bread and Cadburys makes a great sandwich.
Later that evening, Chicken would teach Mouse that beer and cameras do not mix.

But I am getting ahead of myself.

After subjecting Mouse briefly to my cats and introducing her to my hen Ophelia, my husband played chauffeur and dropped us off at the corner of St. Charles and N. Highland to begin the evenings' festivities. First on the agenda was a little light queueing...

Which immediately devolved into general revelry and observance of International Talk Like a Pirate Day, wherein otherwise poised and polished women proved what scallywags they can really be.
And to our stern were some of the happiest knitters in the world, I think. They sure look it.
Before long, we were inside and I found myself happily ensconced in the Hilan Theater with a beer in one hand and a camera in the other. And there were bloggers everywhere (and the occasional pirate celebratee).

First we have Snarky who looked for a while like she was conducting a sing-a-long.
Now here we have the ever serene Claudia, and the back of Janice's head. This was the first time I have ever seen Janice in person, and I have to say that I would have felt like a total freak for shouting "I'm the Chickengoddess!" at her across about 4 or 5 rows while pointing to myself (and jumping up and down slightly) if it weren't for the beer. Oh, crap, I did that, didn't I? What you really can't see in this picture (except for her beer) is Hockeymom, who is completely psycho, and I mean that in the best way possible. Betwixt us there was much throwing of the horns and promises of stagediving, and had I not been wearing glasses I can't afford to break there would have been some headbanging too. Maybe it's a good thing we didn't try, ultimately, or we might have run into trouble with Jane (and I would have paid for yet another of my Chiropractors' kids' college educations). Speaking of Jane...
It was her birthday! And she volunteered to work! What a great and generous spirit you have!

Meanwhile, Mouse and I were joined by the sadly blogless Laura, who arrived sporting a bag every knitter should have.
She joined myself and Mouse and got me another beer, wherein I proceeded to enter the "I love you, man!" phase of the evening. While evilsciencechick and Nytefalle looked on, Jen helped by putting on her best Rhinegold Maiden pose...

And I got all soppy with the camera.

So it was undoubtedly somewhat to the relief of all the poor people sitting around me that a few minutes later Kim took the stage and then it was all about the Yarn Harlot.

And she brought her sock.

Apparently with just 2 beers in me I can no longer knit and I holler like a 20 year old redneck. Sad but true.

While Famous Steve surveyed the scene from the balcony...

we all fell under the Harlot's spell.

Deb, I am so sorry I didn't get a picture of you! I loved meeting you, and I hope we can run into each other again soon!

We met so many new friends, and saw so many amazing and talented knitters. I think it will take me at least a full week to absorb all of it. Thank you Kim, for making this happen. Without you and Knitch, I never would have met so many wonderful people, or Stephanie, who was tired but warm and gracious even through the late hours.

Thanks most of all to you, Mouse, for hanging out with me. I had a great time, and I hope you did too. I love you, man!

Hey, Canada, What's the Problem?

Dear Canada,

Time and again I order from your stores, sending my money into your coffers, supporting your business, taking advantage of what I might also mention is an ever less advantageous currency exchange rate, and all I get in return is the opportunity to turn a little more gray whilst I wait for your mail to get to me. What's the holdup? What do you think we're trying to smuggle across the border disguised as yarn? Cheap viagra? Electronic detonator parts? Mexicans? WHAT?

I would like to point out to you that there are lots of knitters down here south of your border, knitters who through the internet have access to your exotic Canadian yarn shops, and might like to do more international business unless you piss us all off by never sending us our packages. I don't think the problem is on the American side of the border either, as I regularly order and receive (in a very timely manner, I might add) yarn from the British Isles and many of the European Union countries as well as Australia and Japan. Let me give you an example. On 8/27/07 (or 27/8/07, however you like it) I ordered a kit from a remote island off the coast of Scotland. Without any special expediting, I received it yesterday, 9/4/07. Here's the proof.








See, declarations stamp says yarn,


Hmmm, looks to BE yarn, but wait! There's something beneath the yarn! Could it be cheap vicodin knockoffs? Nearly spent nuclear material? Terrorists? Did those crazy Brits just prove their speedy Royal Mail service is really careless and dangerous?


No way!
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but even in the 21st century a tiny island off the coast of Scotland isn't going to have the most modern and finest postal facilities (or maybe they do), but anyway, I am still waiting for yarn I ordered from you over 6 freaking weeks ago. Come on, Canadian postal people, don't be such hosers.

Love,
The Chickengoddess

p.s. Yes that's goddess. As is deity. You have chickens in Canada, I know you do. You might want to speed up that post. I'm just sayin is all.


p.p.s and yes Claudia, I will dare (to try) knitting on this at Knitch on Sunday. Cause that's just how I roll.

At Last My Love

Most knitting projects I crush on I can get over before the yarn insinuates itself into my stash. Rarely do I look at a project 6 months later and feel the same I-will-die-if-you-can't-be-mine, daily love note writing in my diary sort of feelings I had the first 3 or 4 weeks after I spotted it across some crowded and smoky magazine rack sitting all alone and being mysterious and beautiful. You know what I'm talking about. If you're not careful you start buying it presents of its yarn in the hopes of wooing it onto your needles and into your wardrobe. And God knows that if you've been drinking, you end up waking the next morning next to some cheap eyelash yarn and chenille scarf that you wouldn't be seen dead out in public with, and find yourself hiding it from your friends, and well, you know what I'm talking about there, too.



But Rosarie was different from the start. She was not merely a project that caught my eye; from the very beginning she completely took my breath away. Over 3 years ago when I was first learning about knitting and first looking at the internet for information and inspiration I found her and the first thing that went through my mind was that I would never be able to knit that. It was just too complex and beautiful, and I would never be worthy. Then, after a few projects were history, I could look at her and say with confidence that one day in the far future I would be able to knit like that. But over the years my love for this pattern has never flagged, never diminished even slightly, and I kept her picture close and often imagined the day I might cast her on.



Really, this is all Evilsciencechick's fault. We were sitting together with Claudia, Jen and Melissa at Knitch yesterday, generally cutting up and having fun and she mentioned she liked my Fair Isle Sampler Hat and wanted to make one, and one thing led to another and next thing we were cutting deals involving 14 colors of leftover shetland jumperweight and possible lendage of drop spindles and stuff and that got me thinking about that project and how much fun that was. That's when I decided to make yet another pilgrimage to the Virtual Yarns site, just for the hell of it. Sure enough, there she was in all her 2ply fair isle splendour (I like the extra u, lends class to the occasion, I feel), and I sat there and thought to myself "that's still freaking gorgeous. Yeah, I could sure knit that."



I paused for a moment to let that sink in.



Then I bought the kit.

http://www.virtualyarns.com/scripts/showitem.asp?ID=99

Welcome to the Machine

What do you do when that madman Kaffe Fassett finally designs the most beautiful piece of knitting in the world? In 40bagillion colors, with color changes nearly every row and a 186 row color repeat? And, to cap it off, a mile wide, in boring, boringer, boringest stockinette?


It's a freaking scarf for petes sake. I am up to my ears in scarves and I do not need any more. But this is not merely about need. This is about desire. I do not, however, plan on spending the rest of my life knitting a boringest damned stockinette scarf no matter how much I love it. Anyway, as process a knitter as I am, I want this product, dammit, and I want it now!



Enter the Studio 360. My dirty little secret.




A match made in heaven, too I might add. I had no idea how the machine would like the doubled KSH, and half expected it to chew it up and spend the afternoon removing mohair from machine innards, but she works like a charm. And a few hours out of the afternoon got me nearly through one color repeat (not shabby, remember that's 186 rows with all the color changes). Instant gratification.