Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Hey, Canada, What's the Problem?

Dear Canada,

Time and again I order from your stores, sending my money into your coffers, supporting your business, taking advantage of what I might also mention is an ever less advantageous currency exchange rate, and all I get in return is the opportunity to turn a little more gray whilst I wait for your mail to get to me. What's the holdup? What do you think we're trying to smuggle across the border disguised as yarn? Cheap viagra? Electronic detonator parts? Mexicans? WHAT?

I would like to point out to you that there are lots of knitters down here south of your border, knitters who through the internet have access to your exotic Canadian yarn shops, and might like to do more international business unless you piss us all off by never sending us our packages. I don't think the problem is on the American side of the border either, as I regularly order and receive (in a very timely manner, I might add) yarn from the British Isles and many of the European Union countries as well as Australia and Japan. Let me give you an example. On 8/27/07 (or 27/8/07, however you like it) I ordered a kit from a remote island off the coast of Scotland. Without any special expediting, I received it yesterday, 9/4/07. Here's the proof.

See, declarations stamp says yarn,

Hmmm, looks to BE yarn, but wait! There's something beneath the yarn! Could it be cheap vicodin knockoffs? Nearly spent nuclear material? Terrorists? Did those crazy Brits just prove their speedy Royal Mail service is really careless and dangerous?

No way!
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but even in the 21st century a tiny island off the coast of Scotland isn't going to have the most modern and finest postal facilities (or maybe they do), but anyway, I am still waiting for yarn I ordered from you over 6 freaking weeks ago. Come on, Canadian postal people, don't be such hosers.

The Chickengoddess

p.s. Yes that's goddess. As is deity. You have chickens in Canada, I know you do. You might want to speed up that post. I'm just sayin is all.

p.p.s and yes Claudia, I will dare (to try) knitting on this at Knitch on Sunday. Cause that's just how I roll.


Mouse said...

Every one of my packages from Canada within the last year have arrived at my house hanging open and missing half their contents. I'd like to create a stamp that goes on packages that says "Dang people.. its just yarn!!".

Catherine said...

I moved to Canada from Minnesota last year (for my husband's job). It is NOT your imagination that the 'Postale' is horrendously slow and archaic. Thankfully, I live 30 miles from the border....and I drive to Grand Portage to have things sent to me from the States. I totally avoid buying things in Canada. The shipping and taxes are outrageous. It is, in reality, Yarn Hell. =)

Knit Witch said...

Hahaha!! Love your post! I love the word hoser....I find I use it so frequently here in the ATL.

Claudia said...

WELL - bring it on sister... I dare you this Sunday. Can't wait to see the German charts on Sunday. Maybe German Apfelkuchen will help to understand them better.

turtlegirl76 said...

It was great to meet you yesterday! Good luck on that challenge you ordered from Scotland. *shudder*