Uneasy Knitter

Anyone remember that Charlie Daniels song "Uneasy Rider"? I just did the knitting version of that. I went from Atlanta to Stone Mountain via Canada. Thankfully my trip does not involve the police. All the same, I feel rather foolish.

See, I am all revved up about learning knitting terms in other languages ever since Claudia created Stricken Sie Deutsch. Now I'm not going to pretend that I don't have to refer to the list of translations now and then, but I have anschlag down pat and I now know that I can make der zopf without a hilfsnadel. I am 4 rows from done on the MS3 and ready to cast on her swatch. I also have an estonian lace book and I remembered that there was a translation of the symbols online, so I looked that up and put a tiny button on my sidebar right under Claudias' button. Then I found info on Japanese knitting stuff and put that on the sidebar too.

So I'm tooling around the www, and I come across mention of a book all about knitting terms in different languages. It's title is, of all things, "Knitting Languages". And as usual, as soon as I find something I want or need, nobody carries it, or it is out of stock, out of print or discontinued. It's almost like a guarantee with me. So I poke around, and search around and I'm not finding squat until I come across a Canadian site (what is it about me and Canada?) that has it listed for sale. Well, faster than you can say zwei maschen rechts zusammen stricken, I have it paid for and on its way.

At this point, let me say that if I had simply googled (or blackled) the authors' name I probably would have immediately found her publishers' website, where anyone can buy the book with no problem right from the good old USA (actually less than 20 miles away from my house) without currency conversions and customs craziness. But I didn't.

I got the book today (customs obviously knows what uses books can be put to better than they know about the potential terrorist uses of yarn), and opened it and found out the hard way. I would like to blame it on vacation brain, or too much laughing gas at the dentist office or on my biorhythms or something, but no, I was just dumb. And believe me, I paid the price. Plus the shipping from Canada.

So kids, don't be like me. If you, too, want the convenience of knitting terms in 11 languages at your fingertips, just click the link above.

Hey, Canada, What's the Problem?

Dear Canada,

Time and again I order from your stores, sending my money into your coffers, supporting your business, taking advantage of what I might also mention is an ever less advantageous currency exchange rate, and all I get in return is the opportunity to turn a little more gray whilst I wait for your mail to get to me. What's the holdup? What do you think we're trying to smuggle across the border disguised as yarn? Cheap viagra? Electronic detonator parts? Mexicans? WHAT?

I would like to point out to you that there are lots of knitters down here south of your border, knitters who through the internet have access to your exotic Canadian yarn shops, and might like to do more international business unless you piss us all off by never sending us our packages. I don't think the problem is on the American side of the border either, as I regularly order and receive (in a very timely manner, I might add) yarn from the British Isles and many of the European Union countries as well as Australia and Japan. Let me give you an example. On 8/27/07 (or 27/8/07, however you like it) I ordered a kit from a remote island off the coast of Scotland. Without any special expediting, I received it yesterday, 9/4/07. Here's the proof.








See, declarations stamp says yarn,


Hmmm, looks to BE yarn, but wait! There's something beneath the yarn! Could it be cheap vicodin knockoffs? Nearly spent nuclear material? Terrorists? Did those crazy Brits just prove their speedy Royal Mail service is really careless and dangerous?


No way!
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but even in the 21st century a tiny island off the coast of Scotland isn't going to have the most modern and finest postal facilities (or maybe they do), but anyway, I am still waiting for yarn I ordered from you over 6 freaking weeks ago. Come on, Canadian postal people, don't be such hosers.

Love,
The Chickengoddess

p.s. Yes that's goddess. As is deity. You have chickens in Canada, I know you do. You might want to speed up that post. I'm just sayin is all.


p.p.s and yes Claudia, I will dare (to try) knitting on this at Knitch on Sunday. Cause that's just how I roll.